A Christmas tutorial

A few years ago my friend Jen taught me how to make baked brie (because along with being a great baker she is also a super cook).   Anyways, since then I have been bringing this to most of the parties we get invited to.  In fact, I think the only reason we get invited is because we bring the brie.  Everyone is so impressed that I am so super skilled.

Well prepare to be impressed again.  I thought in time for the holiday parties I would do a little tutorial.  If I really wanted to be in time for the parties this would have gone up a week ago, but whatever.  Don't say I never give you anything.

1.  You need:  puff pastry sheets (you can buy the stuff you have to roll out too, but this is so much easier), a brie wheel (this size is 400g), and any topping you like (I like hot red pepper jelly, but you can use any kind of jam/chutney you feel goes with brie)

Yes, I think President's Choice should be paying me for advertising too.

2.  Defrost your puff pastry and roll it out and place your brie in the middle of the sheet

3.  Put a generous amount of your chosen topping on the brie

4.  Wrap the pastry around the brie and topping

There's no exact science to this but avoid any gaps, your topping and melted cheese will ooze out while baking.

5.  Bake according to the instructions of your chosen pastry

Ta-Daaaaah!

I know, rocket science.  Y'all are like "THAT'S IT?  We've been inviting her to all these parties for the brie and that's ALL we had to do to make it ourselves?"

Yes.  You've been inviting me for nothing.

Merry Christmas, suckers.

Fuck You Cancer

Dear Cancer,

I'd like to start off by saying fuck you.  This isn't an episode of Glee, so yeah, call me Cee Lo and FUCK YOU.  Thanks for ruining my Christmas and actually my whole year now that I think of it.  You've wrecked a lot of peoples lives, many of our friends and family have been affected by you, and now you're picking on my dad.

Dude, my dad is 77 years old.  And in a few weeks, right after his 78th birthday, he has to have his bladder removed because of you.  He never smoked, drank or did anything but work, fish and hike on the weekends.  I'm not saying anyone deserves to have you in their lives, but really?  My dad?  All he ever wanted was to live out his last days, growing vegetables in his backyard, reading the paper and watching those Korean soap opera dramas all day long in the winter.

Now all he does is worry about the surgery and worry about how he will be a burden to my mom and his family during his recovery.  And life after the surgery with the bag.  My mother and I can't sleep at night worrying about the pain following the surgery and the weeks and weeks after.  And I can't help thinking at his age the surgery will be too much.

I see a smoker on the street and I want to punch him in the face.  You know that smoking causes cancer, don't you?  Why should my dad have cancer and not you?  Go enjoy your god damn health! is what I want to scream in his face.  I'm not saying it's logical or its the random smoker's fault, or that I think smokers should get cancer.  I don't think any of those things.  I'm just saying I want to punch him in the face.  Really hard.  Like maybe more than once.

I see people racing around buying all sorts of stupid gifts, and I want to yell, who cares?  No one wants that stupid scarf or that stupid basket full of smelly crap, or anything else that you're buying.  Well, except for maybe the people shopping in LuluLemon or the Apple store.  Everyone wants that stuff.  My point is, Christmas is pissing me right off this year with its stupid songs and people eating too much junk and buying too much junk, and being all festive when my dad is sick.

Cancer, you have turned me in to a stark raving crazy bitter bitch.

But guess what.

I'm not going to be crazy forever.  It's going to suck  but my dad is going to have this surgery and we're going to get through the recovery.  My mom used to be a nurse, did you know that Cancer?  She's going help fix up my dad after the surgery--she is like post surgery Cancer Kryptonite.  And my dad's going to get used to the bag and he's going to do all the things he loves doing once he's all healed up.  And I'm going to see my parents happy and free of YOU and I'm not going to be bitter any more.  And I'm going to sleep through the night again one of these days.   And I'm not going to have the urge to punch random people on the street.  And next Christmas, maybe I'll feel like singing a few carols and eating a mountain of cookies and chocolates.  I'll be the best bitch in town.

SO FUCK YOU CANCER.

IT'S ON.

Regards,
Sue Jean

The cake of my kindergarten dreams

Okay, so as if to prove that I reaaaallly am deficient in the area of talent, like an hour after my last post I see THIS on Facebook:

Mena's birthday cake

If you were turning 3 (or 30), wouldn't you just think you died and went to heaven if this was your birthday cake???  My friend Amy in Chicago spent some serious man hours rolling out a truckload of fondant to build this castle dream cake for her daughter Mena's 3rd birthday.  Some kids who's birthdays are close to Christmas kind of get ripped off or lost in the shuffle of such a busy time of year (just ask Dave who's birthday is the 22nd which, now that I think of it, also happens to be the birthday of Mena's dad Nick), but it looks like Christmas takes a back seat to Mena around this castle.

Mena was wearing the same dress as this cake topper Mini Mena at her party.  Could this cake be any more perfect?

I have to find me some talent.  Or maybe I just need less talented friends so that I don't seem so lame.

Yum Yum

I wish I had a talent.   You know, like to be super amazing at something.  I'm not fishing for compliments here, I don't need you, my friends, to post comments like "Well remember when you got 98% in ninth grade typing" or "Remember you scored Perfect for Viva La Vida at karaoke" (both true).  But the truth is, I'm generally just "okay" at a lot of things, "good" at some things, and "really good" at one or two things (ie Viva la Vida at Karaoke and typing) and its gotten me through life okay so far.

Now my friend Jen is an AMAZING baker.  You might remember her from such hits as "My Wedding Cake":

Both beautiful and tasty, you know how you're supposed to save the top layer for a year?
Dave and I ate it the next week....but really who wants a year old, freezer burnt cake?

And "My Wedding cookie Favours"

Don't get me started on my wedding photographers
Yes, so artsy--cookies by a dirty window

When I asked for cookies for my niece who really likes princesses:

And when I asked her for cookies as a thank you for people who sponsored me in a run (okay for me it was more like a walk) for cancer that I did for my dad:

I was just kind of thinking round cookies with thank you written on them.

See what I mean about talented?

Anyways, she's is doing a little Xmas giveaway on her blog here for six of these bad boys:

Yummy gingerbread snowflakes

I thought I would dilute my chances of winning by letting everyone in on it.  Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition.  I've already distributed my winnings in my head, "one for Dave, five for me!"  See, its probably better if I don't win.  

While you're there, check out her other cakes and cookies.  And then take solace in the fact that you were the fastest, most error free typist in your ninth grade class.

Finally...

Thank goodness, it came, because it's getting effing cold and I was getting really tired of picking up all our junk mail every day.  I probably won't check the mail again until April.

Cup noodle Museum!

What's convenient, cheap and yummy?  Staple for all poor university students around the world (I used to buy it at the gas station down the street when I went to University in the UK--believe me I was Poor with a capital P then).  Instant Noodles!!!

Tomo and Shu took us to the Cup Noodle Museum.  To be honest I don't even know where it was,  we just got in the car and got driven.....I think it took us an hour to get there.  It was a small museum, a tribute to Momofuko Ando, the inventor of instant noodles and cup noodles.  

The best part of the museum is that you get to make your own cup noodles.  First you decorate your cup, then you pick 5 ingredients to put in it, pick your soup stock and then they seal it up and off you go with your very own flavour.  

Me, Dave and Momofuko

Wall of Cup Noodle

Yes, I know, so original.  I cracked under the pressure.

We're so proud

My invention, tofu, garlic, corn, kimchi and egg.  Curry soup base.
Yummy!

As close as Dave gets to cooking

After the Museum, Tomo and Shu took us somewhere else pretty cool.  It kind of looked like the middle of no where, but it was a patch of land just before the airport.  And when you stand there and a plane comes in, it looks like its coming right at you.  It was really pretty amazing.

Me and Tomo waiting

About as close as you can get to a moving airplane!!!

Thanks Tomo, thanks Shu for a really special day.

Our trip to Japan - Osaka

 Osaka was our next stop, an easy 30 minutes on the train from Kyoto.  We were very lucky that a friend of Dave's from a Contiki tour he took in Europe many years ago, Tomo, lives in Osaka and was kind enough to take us around.  Nothing beats having a local guide to show you the city!

Osaka Castle

Me and Tomo

Tomo and Dave at the top of the castle

After the castle Tomo took us for some Okonomiyaki.  This was my first time trying these Japanese pancake type things and they are delicious.

The chefs

DeeeLish

The restaurant was right by this observatory (I can't remember what it was called).  But the night view of the city was amazing.

Osaka at night

Our hotel wasn't far from the city hotspot called Shin Sai Bashi.  Lights, bars, shops, restaurants, and lots and lots of people.

Look at dude's crazy hair on the left

Shopping arcade, see what I mean about lots of people?  As far as the eye can see...

Died and gone to Asahi heaven

Thanks to Tomo and her husband we got to try something that wasn't in our guidebook.  More on that next post.